A letter from the intruder
Unwanted Guest
The fix is simple enough
Dear Lady,
I understand you’re upset that I’m here. The fact is, I don’t want to be in this house any more than you want me in this house. I wouldn’t be in here if I wasn’t trapped.
It was a simple accident, a wrong turn involving some masonry in need of repair (you probably want to have that looked at). And, for the life of me, I cannot find my way back out.
Oh, I know you’ve heard all those scary stories about bats and rabies, and then there’s all that vampire stuff, but I’m not out to get you. I am just a basic bat trying to live the bat life. Trust me, I’d love to hightail it out of here.
Why do you think I fly frantically around every night? Did it ever occur to you that I am simply trying to get out?
And, my God, the cat! I can tell it’s alarming for you when you hear your cat, Oliver, I believe, landing on the floor with a thud after he jumps wildly up into the air, over and over again, as he tries to catch me. I’ve seen you come racing out of your bedroom in the middle of the night, looking terrified at all the commotion.
I get that it wakes you up and it’s all scary and everything, but how do you think I feel? I mean, there’s a cat about a hundred times my size trying to catch me and eat me!
Then, you get the laundry basket and the broom, and you come chasing after me, too! I’m just flying to save my life. I’m desperate to find a way out.
So, lady, do you think you could do me just a little favor? How about locking Oliver in the bedroom safe and sound and then opening some windows and doors for me tonight? Turn down the inside lights. I’ll be happy to come out from behind this danged picture frame in the living room and skedaddle.
One more thing, please leave the outside lights on so I can find some bugs for chow. I’m starving.
I miss my family and friends. I need real food. I really want to fly. Please, help me get out!
Your friend,
Edward G. Thursdale III
The Bat
